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Ep. 72: Why People Pleasing Looks Different When Men Do It

This week's episode is a bit different. Host Sally Hubbard and producer Carolyn Duncan sit down to discuss some of the issues brought up by last week's interview of Gretchen Rubin. Gretchen's Four Tendencies personality paradigm indicates that men are "obligers"in equal numbers as women. Essentially, Obligers are people pleasers, most easily meeting expectations placed on them by others. So how is it that the selfless mother who "takes care" is the vaulted feminine archetype while the man who "takes charge" is most valued under stereotypical gender roles? We take a look at the vastly different external expectations placed on men and women. And we talk about the challenges of embracing women's unique strengths while acknowledging that the differences within the genders are greater than the differences between them.

"For feminine [stereotypical traits] it's 'take care' and for masculine it's 'take charge.' If there are obligers in each gender in equal numbers but men are obliging to the outer expectation to take charge and women are obliging to the outer expectation to take care, that's where we'll see a lot of consequences in the workforce, especially in the gender pay gap."